The bullies who chased me... You strengthened my resolve. The haters who said I’d fail... I am still here. Those who fell to the earth thinking they were the only star above... The night sky is ablaze with lights. My old man... Yeah, this is for the one who not only gave me his name, but more... I’ve felt your hand on my shoulder each day and it has guided me. This is for all those who believed. For eighteen weeks, I have toiled outside of society, on a fixed and lonely path. Now, I have come full circle, back to where I started. Here... This place. Yeah, life is like that. As I sit on the edge, on the threshold, what I’ve learned is that this journey is not a straight line. And the plates on each side of me, they support me. They hold me in place, like bookends around the story that is my life... And the next chapter is about to unfold... Just landed yesterday... Yeah, the trip was a bitch. I’m still on edge and it’s fucking razor sharp. Gotta settle my fucking nerves down. At the airport, I felt like I was dragging the last five months of my life with me. Glad my girl was able to make it. Glad she traveled light. Must have looked like a freak with my all my bags and my big ass cooler... You always travel with your meals. Always. That's why when you're getting ready for a show, you don't want to travel if you don't have to. Food goes where you go. It's your lifeline. To add insult to injury I gotta fit into a seat that has no business holding me. And for what, a bag of peanuts? Shit, you gotta have a sense of humor about it all. Still, should have paid the extra bucks to go nonstop instead of that fucking two hour layover. A straight shot... Yeah, we all know that a straight line is the shortest distance between two points, the quickest way to get from here to there. A straight line cuts right to the bone, right to the chase... Right through all the bullshit and small talk and all the fucking distractions. Back in Week 5, I talked about this--how you gotta travel on the path, straight and true. But you know what, brothers? Eighteen weeks taught me a little something about this sport and who I am… Yeah, while a straight line may be the most direct way, it's not always the best way. When I started this Journey, when I stepped up to meet my destiny, I knew where I stood and thought I knew how far I'd have to go. I saw my destination and tried to figure out the quickest way to get there. Thing is, life doesn't like a straight line. Leave that to the mathematicians and engineers--like my buddy back home. Me, I’m a bodybuilder. Standing in my hotel room, in the present, I can look back and see how I got here. I can now see where I’ve wandered, circled back, and even walked off the path completely. But this is good, brothers. Sometimes you need to take a couple steps back so that you can keep moving forward. Yeah, it’s hard to accept, but the important lesson here is that progress isn’t a single, smooth, unbroken line. Shit, it comes in fits and starts. It’s unpredictable. It’s fucking messy. We don’t grow this way and we certainly don’t live this way. This game is not about who can make it to the end the quickest--who the fucks wants that? Shit, life isn’t a race. Slow down and enjoy it, learn from it. Remember, your legacy, the mark you leave, will be determined by what you accomplish between yesterday and tomorrow. That takes time and the the road will be roundabout... For me, though my show comes tomorrow, the end of this Journey is not my finish line... When it's over, I won't stop to catch my breath. I won't lie down. Fuck no. I'm not done. Not by a long shot. After the night has fallen and the lights have dimmed, after everyone has left, there will come a new day... And once again, I will rise up and meet it.   Another day behind me, a new day before me. I'm standing on the threshold, on the edge of the abyss. Damn, I can't believe I'm here--backstage, right before prejudging. Yeah, I'm nervous, but I say fuck that. When you get to this point, things are pretty much out  of your control. Everything that I could have done, should have done, has been. Brothers, I've been holding on for the last eighteen weeks like one tenacious motherfucker, and now it's time to let go. It's time to savor this moment. It's hard with all the competitors in this room... There's a lot of nervous energy here. Shit, it's like being out in the wild. Everyone is sizing the other up and staring each other down. Everybody wants to know where they are in the food chain. Before you ever step up, the competition heats up. Yeah, this place is like a fucking pressure cooker. But I can't lose my head. Not here. Not now. See, the real competition is not out there. It's not this shredded 275-pound dude standing next to me, pumping up. Nah, the real competition is me. The real war is going on between my ears, in my mind. Keep your head together. Move like water and go with the flow. Let go and relax. Let go... Thing is, anything worth having means first learning how to let go. Learning how to let go of your mama's hand. Learning how to walk out from your old man's shadow. Learning how to let go of that map--the one you've relied on, the one that you think is telling you how to get through life. Shit, when we follow a map, we're like fucking tourists. We watch the scenery pass and we snap a couple of pictures. We hold on to those pictures like we own 'em, like they were the real experience itself...  Over the past eighteen weeks, so many people wanted to be a part of my Journey. They wanted a piece of me, like I was picture they could hold in their hands. People have come up to me with advice, unsolicted and unasked for... Like this one kid who told me how I could get more out of my cardio as my bodyfat levels were dropping deeper and deeper into the single digits. Or the old lady who told me to eat tofu so that I could build muscles faster. Then there was that lifter, a buck fifty wet, who explained how I could build bigger guns by changing the order of my routine. When you're on the road to success, the forgotten and the nameless rise up and try to hold on to you. Shit, all these people wanted was a piece of my success. Don't get weighed down. Travel light, brothers, and never be a fucking  tourist. Never live through your old pictures or through the lives of others. Step up. Let go. Only when you do can you get lost. And unless you get lost, you'll never be able to find your own way, your own destiny. I'm about to go on soon, and what I know now more than I ever did, was that this was never anyone else's journey. It was mine and mine alone... This morning, I got up… Put my pants on, one fucking leg at a time, like I always do, like everyone else does. Yeah, I got up long before the alarm went off, before the sun was up. One minute, nothing, the next, something. It’s like the keys go in the ignition and the engine eventually fires. Combustion is achieved. Damn, for the last eighteen weeks, this life--shit, my life--has been full of fits and starts, darkness and light. Moments of perfect clarity and moments of confusion. No time at all for idling though, no time at all. It’s been a long road, but I’m finally here, stepping out… Out of the shadows and onto the show stage with its blinding lights. Stepping up to show the world what I have made with nothing but spit, hard work and these two hands. These hands have gotten me here. Day after day, night after night, as I plowed forward, the thread of my destiny unraveled behind me. It’s like the mythical story I remember hearing as a kid, about that dude who walked into the maze to kill the half man, half beast monster. Many went in, none ever came out. But this dude did. After doing the deed, he got back out by following the string he laid down when he first entered the maze. When he first stepped out of that maze, I wonder how he felt? What does it feel like to be transformed? He went in a man, he stepped out a hero. Me, I’m about to step out too. But shit, I can’t tell if this place is an entrance or an exit… And I can’t see very far because of these bright lights. This is where the fear grips you--walking out into the unknown. Shit, we all fear getting lost, don’t we? Yeah, this is the story of life. Many would choose to live out their lives in a little room--warm, safe and dry. The world outside is a scary place. It’s a big ass maze full of monsters and demons. The path that leads out from that room disappeas into the horizon. But you know what? Let me tell you something and I want to be fucking clear about this… I would never have known what I was made of, what I could build with my two hands, if I didn’t take that first step down the path. Courage got me here, courage to put that fucking key in the ignition. See, life starts with a simple spark, then a single connection. But when we’re born, that connection, that line must be cut. Otherwise that lifeline becomes a tether, a restraint. We each gotta grow up to be our own men and walk our own paths. Yeah, walking out into the unknown, into the dark, can be frightening. But shit, what reassures me is this… I know I have the courage the walk. I also know that if I could see through the darkness ahead, I’d see my old man. This reassures me too. Yeah, he’d be there for sure, front and center, like he’s always been in my life. He’d be right next to my ma. My sis, yeah, she’d be there too along with my girl. Shit, none of ‘em would miss this for the world. Even Big Red. He’d be sitting somewhere, maybe next to Chops his lifting partner. I know I’d see more familiar faces, even those from my youth--the bullies, the naysayers, the critics. But I’d also see the faces of the future--the aspiring young bodybuilders. So this, so all this, is for me… But it’s also for them. It's for you too. If I kept looking, I know I’d eventually see your face--the face of someone who has awakened from the haze of a dream, as if from the maze of your former life. Brothers, wherever you go, whatever you do in this life, never be afraid. Choose to be courageous. Hurtle forward, as a man, into the mazes that will stand before you. Do not be afraid to lose your way, for if you do, you will never grow... You will never know the hero you were destined to become.   home | journey | extras Copyright © 2005 Universal Nutrition