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It’s late and I’m out of focus. I feel adrift at sea, lost in my
backbreaking labors. Then all at once it hits me like a beacon in the
night. In the middle of my rep, halfway through my set, that familiar
feeling returns... The pain. It washes over me, wave after wave. My
senses reel. Yeah, I could drop it all, walk away from this burden.
Instead, I grit my teeth, catch my breath, and plow forward. When the
going gets tough, many head for safe harbor. I don’t. I welcome the
pain -- it keeps me honest. It grounds me. Brothers, this sea is wide
and rough. Though the pain may come over you, never let it overcome you. |
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When
I was an overweight kid just starting out, my ma said, “Hold on, son.” She thought I
was too young, supplements too unhealthy. She thought bodybuilding
wasn’t a respectable sport, let alone a profession…
When some of my friends starting seeing my level of dedication, all the
sacrifices I had to make, they said, “Hold on, man.” Maybe I wasn’t spending enough time
partying with them, getting drunk every weekend. Maybe they weren't my friends…
When my past girlfriends learned how serious I was about bodybuilding,
they said, “Hold on, baby.” They thought they had to compete against
bodybuilding for my attention. They didn’t. But I couldn’t convince
them otherwise…
When people on the street looked at me, they said, "Hold on, stranger."
They couldn't understand why I wanted to be this big... Why I couldn't
eat just one slice of cake when dieting... Why I was doing this to
myself. They don't get it now and they never fucking will...
When I first dreamed of competing one day and took my fucking game to the next level, my
training partner said, “Hold on, Wrath.” He couldn’t keep up.
Maybe he didn’t want to…
After
I started lifting, whenever I forgot why I got into this game,
I told myself, “Hold on.” I didn't start lifting to get back at the bullies who beat the living shit out of me after
school... It wasn't to be cool or popular... It wasn't to get ass.
Why'd I do it then? Shit, I
did it for me. I do this because I was born to... It's in my blood. This sport grounds
me, gives my life meaning. Listen brothers, this shit is not for the faint of heart. Few can do what it takes. We are
among those few. When you feel like you're drowning, catch your breath. When you want to hang it
up, stand firm. When you feel like you can’t diet another day, when it’s hard to
pick yourself up off the couch, get the fuck up. People will want to knock you down.
Temptations will try to hold you back. Obstacles will stand in your way. Smash the fuck through 'em.
This great
journey begins with a step... Even if that step is
nothing more than learning how to hold on...
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The
water drips from the bathroom faucet... Another drop in the sea. Off
in the distance, a
squad car's siren wails... A lonely but comforting sound. It's another
late night in Jersey and my girl is
snoring softly in the other room. Damn, the fucking walls could come
crashing down around her and she'd sleep through it. Yeah, when she
sleeps, she seems a thousand miles away. Me, I'm still wired from
earlier today. Just started using Animal Pump for a litle extra edge... Great workout. All in all, a good day... Even the
food tasted alright. I'm awake so I thought I'd put my time to good
use, hit my mandatories. I’m doing that, I
think
about how life throws you a lot of fucking curveballs. When you’re
living a "clean" life stripped of all the extras, the trimmings that
make
life livable for most people, a lot of temptation comes your way… Girls
in my new gym giving me their phone numbers... Hot donuts at the diner
down the street. Shit, when I was young, I took my share of liberties,
sampled too many wares. It was a distraction,
a diversion. Even in the weightroom, I indulged in excesses. These
rickety knees, they’re a consequence of my youthful
fucking indiscretions in the gym. Often I’d go too heavy with my
ass-to-the-grass squats. Too often, pride got in the way. So these
days, when I train legs, I always make sure to open with leg
extensions, 4x20 usually. Warms 'em up real nice. Though I’m
older, wiser, there are still days
when I want to drive six plates a side from the
ground through the roof. Listen, if you’re planning on being in this
game a
long time, leave your ego at the door. You're not in the gym to impress
others but to improve yourself. Trust me, I know how
hard it is to hear the call of the iron and resist the temptation to go
overboard. You just gotta plug your ears with wax, and ignore it. Listen to your body. It'll steer you right... In a
couple of hours, my alarm,
that siren that keeps me ever vigilant, is gonna go off. My girl will
probably sleep through that shit too, like she usually does. When she
gets up, I'll be gone... Working my ass off so that I'm one step closer
to home. |
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“You
and me, we’re gonna have problems…” This voice booms in my ear as I’m
finishing up a set. Shit, I’m tired and hungry, but I’m not gonna let
that sonofabitch get under my skin, get me off my game… I don’t flinch, I don’t turn around.
Instead, I squeeze out my last few reps and rack the weight. It’s time
to catch my breath and gear up for the next set. But in that brief
moment before I wrap my hands around that rusty, knurled bar, I’m that eleven year old
kid again running for his life...
Childhood is supposed to be good times…. Happy memories, happy days.
For me, it was pure misery. See, as that kid, I was soft and
short. I was an easy mark. Even back then, I was singled out for being
different. And I’ll never forget those words, “You and me, we’re gonna
have problems.” Though outnumbered, I was defiant, even when the leader
of this gang of bullies demanded my lunch money. The rest of the school
day past too quickly and I soon found myself being chased through the
woods, these bullies at my heels like a pack of wild fucking dogs. What can you
know of being caught, of fighting back to no avail, getting the shit
beat out of you? Of limping back home, bloody and raw, wiping the dirt
from your face? What do you know of this, day in and day out?
I’ll tell you what I know… That on a hot summer day, the heat rises
quickly from the asphalt. But just as quickly, a passing rainstorm can
wash everything away. These memories, like the fucking injustices of
youth, will pass too. What I learned is this--that I am who I am because
of those experiences, good, bad or fucking indifferent. I learned that
I could taking a beating, lick my wounds, and get right back up, holding my head up high. I
learned that when I couldn’t beat back my opponents, I turned to my old
man’s Weider bench and the concrete weights and beat the shit out of
myself, making my will more resolute, my body stronger. When I outgrew
those weights, I improvised—bench pressing the pool table, doing dips
between the old washer and dryer, doing chins on the tree out back with
concrete blocks tied to my waist… Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
And what I know today is that my feet are planted in the ground and I
am resolute, like my old man, like the oak I did chins on. You and me—though we look
different in different ways, we are one and the same. I’m no longer
that chubby and short eleven year old but a man chiseled and hard. The
only difference is the years that stand between us and the memories
I’ve collected. Last but not least, I learned that respect is hard earned
and even harder to keep... But that it’s all the sweeter when it’s given, not by friends, but by enemies.
Week 11 Extra: Brothers, the brand new “Animal Chest” DVD featuring Wrath is right around the corner. If you liked the first installment, “Animal Arms”,
then you’re gonna want this new training DVD. For a chance to score a
free copy before the official 11/1/06 launch date, all you gotta do is
register. Details will follow shortly by email. If you haven’t
registered, it’s time to haul ass, cuz that email is going out soon… To
register, click here.
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