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No Roadmap to the Top
by Ox
If bodybuilding is like most other things in life then chances are that
when you break it down and identify it for what it really is, you will
come to the realization that it doesn’t mean much. In essence, it’s a
sport where the main objective is to eat, train and live a lifestyle
that is conducive to becoming as big, as lean, as symmetrical and all
together as physically impressive as possible so that you may stand
onstage in a pair of posing trunks and be declared the epitome of that
objective amongst a group of fellow bodybuilders. I mean, it’s not like
we’re working on a cure for cancer, aiding the disadvantaged or saving
wandering puppies from oncoming traffic. We lift weights; lots of them.
We eat food; lots of it. We sleep; as much as possible. And we take up
space; more than anyone sitting next to you on an airplane cares to
experience. The sport is selfish, self centered and sometimes extreme.
For most, bodybuilding will never serve as a sufficient way to make a
living or support a family. And ironically, though many might suspect
that bodybuilders are driven by vanity, the majority of the general
population fails to find a champion level physique attractive.
So what is good when it comes to bodybuilding? Why do it? What drives a
person to push themselves in the sport of bodybuilding when there is
often little in the way of what the masses would consider to be
rewarding. Don’t think that I don’t ask myself these questions all the
time. I constantly assess where I am, where I am headed and weigh my
efforts in respect to the potential risk and benefit. And keep in mind,
when it comes to the sport of bodybuilding, I feel that few have been
as fortunate as myself.
Sitting in my hotel room in Columbus, Ohio I reflect on where I
started, where I am and where I see myself going. Laying on the bed
waiting for the concoction of Pro-Tan and Jan Tana to dry and set in,
the room is filled with the smell of acetone and whatever the hell they
add to give it that distinct smell. Whenever I smell that stuff I’m
always brought back to the first time. Getting ready for the 2005 Bev
at 23 years seems like a different lifetime. My buddy took off of work
early that Wednesday afternoon to come over and give me a coat of
Pro-Tan; we did it in the garage at my parents’ house. Thinking back to
that show, there were no expectations placed on me other than those I
held for myself and those which my training partner and a couple guys
at the gym had come to hold. It was different back then. I knew that
come Monday morning, it was back to my regular job, my regular life and
back to reality. I did it just for the hell of it; because I felt like
it. The pressure didn’t exist back then. I felt secure.
Backstage in the pump up room at the Arnold was a long way from
slapping on that final coat of tan backstage at the Tribeca and dousing
myself with Pam in the pump up area. There are people everywhere;
photographers, fans, people working to deliver radio and internet
broadcasts, the stage crew, security, state police and even bomb
sniffing canines. Back in ’05 all I had to contend with was my own
nerves. After finding a quiet corner in which to sit down and scarf a
meal, I hurry my ass up to go and get sprayed with one last coat of tan
before going onstage. There isn’t even time to be nervous; until you’re
lined up and ready to go on. Then you wait. You wait to go on for your
60 second free pose. Then you wait for the other guys to do theirs.
That time waiting seems like forever. And that’s when you wonder what
the hell you look like to everyone else. Funny to think about the fact
that you’ll actually never look yourself in the face and see yourself
as others do. But I guess that doesn’t matter because no two people see
you the same way. Does the color green look the same to me as it does
to you? Enough of that. What’s it going to be in ten minutes when you
finally get onstage? Success or failure? Will you live up to the
expectations; your own, others? How will you look under those lights on
that stage compared to the mirror you’ve been looking at yourself in
the last 15 weeks? How about the one mirror they have set up in the
corner? Shit, I probably saw myself in ten different mirrors in those
three days. Might as well look in this one too. You go over and wait
next to the guy currently looking in the mirror. You look at him and
then at his reflection and back and forth again a few times. Looks
pretty true. He steps aside. So I step up and take a look. I’m pretty
happy with how I look in this mirror. And that guy looks damn good and
the mirror seemed true enough to him.
Then you ask yourself; “what the fuck am I doing?” That’s when it hit
me. I remind myself that, although it’s my biggest fear to see myself
as being fit for the stage and get up there and have everyone ask what
the hell I was thinking getting onstage looking four weeks out, I
haven’t done it yet and this probably won’t be the first time. I remind
myself of all the time and effort I put into this preparation and if I
could come this far in the sport, then there’s no reason I can’t go a
little further. A little further. That’s all I want and I think I can
do that. I’ve done it and I can continue to do it. Time for the
comparisons. And before you know it, four months of training is reduced
to a half an hour onstage and the prejudging and finals are over.
When I think about where it is that I’m going I can’t help but be
reminded of questions people ask me about my plan for this or for that.
There is no plan. There is no roadmap. I’ve been told that the most
productive people in the world live by their to do lists. I’ve always
been on the fence about to-do lists. Actually, I take that back. I like
to do lists. I have plenty of things I want and need to do. I guess
what I’m not nuts about is when people draw up elaborate plans to
execute those to-dos. And while I wouldn’t go so far as to say that
bodybuilding might give you the same public recognition as many other
selfless endeavors or that it will make you wealthy or even attractive
to the opposite sex I can say that, done right, it will give one of the
most valuable things you could ever hope to possess; the ability to
enter any situation, approach any task, take on any goal with or
without a plan and know that you can figure it out, get through it and
excel at it. That is the single greatest thing about bodybuilding. |
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