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Sorry?
by Machine
Individualism at every level is something that used to be put at a high
premium and was a good trait that very few people possessed. These days
it's almost impossible to find, let alone be an individual. I sometimes
make the mistake of thinking that honesty is as important to others as
it is to me. Forcing me to learn the distasteful lesson one time too
many that in fact people don't put a premium on truth anymore. At
least, not like they used to. It seems that they don't even want to
know what the truth is, let alone know it when they see it.
This disturbs me on many levels, but none more than the basic level of
the human dignity that is lost when we live a lie. I won't engage in
dishonest practice or lie in as a written device for any reason
whatsoever. It demeans me as a man and as an athlete. It seems that in
living in this way, my way, I tend to step on toes and ruffle feathers
everywhere I go. Now, the modern way to handle this situation is for me
to get “in touch” with the “inner” me and resolve the “turmoil” in my
soul so I can “relate” to people on a more “metaphysical” plane. I am
not going to do that. I am a throwback to a time when a promise between
men meant something. I wish I could face down my opponents in a fight
to the death. If it were up to me, it would be pistols at dawn
motherfucker.
I started this whole trip with no apologies and no regrets and I will
be dammed if I'm gonna switch up now to gain acceptance from anyone or
any thing as an entity. I find it daunting to speak about my
experiences with people I trust, let alone people I will never meet in
person. I have faced this task and tried to take it in stride and to
some degree I find it therapeutic and insightful. I accept the
responsibility that is mine as it relates to the ideas I speak about
and I submit that these ideas were gleamed from literal years of
training. Training and the cumulative sum of successes and failures I
feel privileged to have had laid upon me. I still don't know what fate
I will find at the end of destiny's road, but I am prepared for all out
war until I have no breath in my body.
To those who would seek me out to hinder me or stand on my back to
climb higher, I pledge an oath of warfare to the last drop of blood. My
agenda now and for the future calls for brutality and bone-grinding
mule work and to be sure I won't stop heading for the top no matter who
the next big thing is. No matter if I ever win a show again. No matter
if I ever even compete again. No matter what this world thinks of me or
how they “relate” to me I will endure and strive to dominate my
surroundings now and in the next realm. For me, it's more than words,
more than ideas, more than promises more than lies, it is all I am and
all I will ever be and I won't let myself down.
So, to those who I upset along the way, this is as close to an apology
as you will ever hear from me. I hope that my honesty and purity of
heart is something that at least you, my brothers, still hold in high
regard. There is a war and I am a weapon bent on the destruction of the
status quo. Bent on the destruction of the lies we have come to accept
as commonplace. I am a mechanism set in motion to fuck up the system
and shake the pillars that hold this shitpile up. If I have to bash
myself against my enemies like a battering ram, I will and there wont
be any tears from my eyes. Call me psycho, call me ugly, call me
whatever you want because I have heard it all before.
I remember my high school guidance counselor telling me I would be in
prison in ten years time, so this is all a big victory lap for me baby.
I warn those of you who live the lie that tomorrow will be here quicker
than you think and your running out of time. You can't afford to waste
your time here and hope there is a bonus round at the end to redeem
yourself. I play for keeps and I will show you what I mean very soon...
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